Emotional fuckwittery...

Here are some trivial things that have caused me to shed actual tears since having a baby. The commonality here is that none of these are legit reasons for crying…which just shows that the cray hormones are in full swing. Or, maybe I was a sleeping giant of repressed emotion for the first half of my life and this is the real me. 

•  Getting to the park to go for a walk with other mothers (as is my fundamental right as new mother on maternity leave) but having to sit in the park on my own and breastfeed instead. 
• Spending 25 mins frantically getting ready to go for a surf (including packing enough baby stuff to last a week) and then getting there and having to breastfeed on the beach in my ‘very not bikini ready’ body. 
• Not being able to drink my coffee because the baby wants to breastfeed. 
• A blend of coffee that was ‘too bitter’. 
• Ordering food such as a ‘deconstructed smashed avo’ for brekky but then not being able to eat it because the baby wants to breastfeed. But seriously, who the eff orders something deconstructed when they only have one hand to eat. I may have been crying because I realised the extent of the drop in my IQ since having a baby (though truthfully, based on my Bachie addiction it may not ever have been very high). 
• The gate to the house being locked so I had to go back upstairs and get my key to put the rubbish out. Seriously. Actual tears about this. 
• Ordering and paying for a lasagna at a deli and then waiting more than 15 minutes for it to be lifted out of the cabinet and handed over. I angrily canceled without getting my money back (thinking ‘I’ll show them how inefficient they are’…but joke’s on me cause they have my money and the lasagna). I ran out to get home to the baby to… you guessed it, breastfeed.
• When I dropped the shopping bags after trying to carry too many up the stairs. Doing two trips is never an option. This has happened since the beginning of my time on earth but suddenly… tears.  
• When the front wheel of the pram fell off when I was out. Rather than putting it back on, I took a moment to really overreact before bending down and fixing it in one smooth motion. Literally took one click. 
• When my husband came home after work without a treat for me. Couldn’t even deal. Food is life right now

In summary… Hysteria levels are at an all-time high, conversely, resilience is at an all-time low. Luckily i can look back on each day and reflect honestly… ‘Jacinta, you are a bonafide emotional effwit, it MUST be the hormones'.