Kumfs versus stilettos

stiletto

noun

1. 1. 

   a woman's shoe with a thin, high tapering heel
2. 2. 

   a short dagger with a tapering blade. (now, this definition is clearly not safe for the human body)

Today I spent a long 25 minutes looking for wedding shoes at Robina Town Centre aka ‘Suburban Hell’. The most enticing option I saw was a pair of Kumfs. I’m not even joking. Why should I not be very comfortable at my own wedding? Kumfs trumps stilettos every time if you want to say; move, walk or dance.  I don't want to be spending my entire time with my heels stuck in the grass - looking good but feeling emo because I can’t move. I can feel my Melbourne bridesmaid frowning right now. Hi Hannah. 

Kumfs: sounds like … comfort.

Thinking about the impracticality of fashion today reminded me of when I was desperate for reading material in France and was forced to read Vogue (yes, a magazine devoted to fashion). Worst. Day. Ever. 

France was the final leg of my two month eurotrip and by that point I had run out of reading material. Now, english-language books and magazines are extremely rare in France, as rare as culture on the Gold Coast, or things to do in Adelaide. So finally, after searching high and low I came across an American Vogue. 

I recognised my desperation when I read entire articles about a piece of clothing. There was seriously two full pages about ‘the mini-skirt’ and there was such intensity and passion in the writing that I started to think mini-skirts were actually important. 

Amongst these riveting articles were some barely-identifiable-product-placements for designer brands that featured ridiculously good-looking women with epic side boob coupled with outlandish statements such as ‘Some places inspire romance. Some objects of beauty define love’(that was for a bracelet). 

Really? Doyareckon bracelets define love? Or doyareckon that’s just marketing bullshit maybe? 

Don’t be sucked in humans. Stuff is not worth what Vogue says it is. And stilettos are not suitable for walking. It's actually dangerous. For serious.